William, Isabella and Juliet Philomena

In a further away than usual suburb of London, I am on my laptop in the corner of a coffee shop that doesn't pay any tax.  On the adjacent table are a group of mothers and babies.  ‘I hope you haven’t come here to work’, says one of the mothers.  ‘Because this is where we bring our babies to scream’.  I smile.  The chatter is of bathing techniques, estate agents and length of limbs.  John Lewis gets name-checked twelve times, IKEA five and Sainsbury’s once (they sell cheap baby-grows).

Deciding to find an alternative venue, I interrupt a debate about ‘Click and Collect’, to ask my question.  The babies look placidly as their mothers introduce them.