On a long-haul flight, I am sitting next to a mother and her son. We exchange pleasantries and awkward shufflings for toilet trips during the journey. The mother twice offers me soft-mints which I accept. As we approach our destination, the son gets excited. He has blonde hair, blue eyes and an enthusiastic smile. He is wearing a t-shirt with guitars on it. He is eight years old. 'Are you going to get married again?' he asks his mother as that is what she did last time she was in the Caribbean. She laughs and says that once was enough. Getting off the plane, I tell the boy about my resolution. He beckons me down to his height and whispers in my ear. I tap my nose and promise not to tell anyone. So I won't.
Instead today's middle name is that of the poet, comic and philosopher that I met whilst in transit at the airport. He was selling his wares at the entrance of a newsagent. His books seemed expensive but he persuaded me to part with a two-pound coin for a copy of his leaflet entitled 'Life and Laughter'. His encouraging philosophy is that 'Small things can influence lives. Help to shape lives for the betterment of self and country'. The leaflet is keen to make it clear that 'These jokes are original. They were especially prepared for tourist visiting our warm and friendly shores'. This is my favourite:
'FINISHED
My brother met a beautiful young lady and fell deeply in love with her. They were dating for three years when one day she surprisingly said to him that she was finish. The boy stopped eating, started drinking and long tears fell from his eyes. He cried and cried. He only understood what she meant when she told him that she was from Finland.
N.B. People from Finland are called Finnish.'
His full name was written on the leaflet and, to him, I made no promises of secrecy.
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